32 & 5

So I am officially now 32 years old.  This is the number I used to think of as "old".  I thought I'd be so mature, and grand.  But really I'm still just me.   :)  This is me talking to my mama this morning- well yesterday morning- it's the a.m. now.  Toniht I remembered my Bday 10 years ago. I was living with my bosom buddy Mel . I had just turned down Jasper for good. No more "I want to marry you talk". We hadn't been speaking to eachother for a good week or so, the doorbell rang. There was a guy with a vase full of pink & yellow roses. For me. I looked at the card. This was ALL is said: "One rose for each of your moods". I laughed so hard. It was of course from Jasper. Poor poor Jasper. So discouraged at my mood swings. Little did he know he would actually have to deal with them the rest of his life. :)
I would just like to point out my smokers lip in this pic.  And yet, I have never smoked.  What's up with that? 

Thanks so much to all of my amazing friends and family for making it such a fab-o day-o. I even had one of my fave clients drive to my house and give me cookies and a card. HELLO niceness. Aislinn, that was so sweet of you. I love it when clients become friends! I heart you. You're cookies too. And Em, Dinner was SO good! And Mama Mia...so fun ladies of the night. And so inappropriate you are. :)

Now this is me telling my mama that I am giving her another grandbaby in March. It's my bday present to her. She enjoyed it.
Remember how CONFUSED I was about having another child? Let me just say to you that Heavenly Father does not leave it completely up to you if you ASK. I had such an amazing experience. I KNEW that it was time. I was told, in exact words.  What was so amazing is that when I received an answer to this question that I had been asking myself, my husband, and Heavenly Father it kind of came out of no where. In moment of silence. It was amazing. It was something I will never ever forget. And I will be eternally grateful for the power of prayer.
It's amazing to me how done I felt. Complete really, until about 8-9 months ago when I started to almost panic about this certain sense of urgency I was feeling to "make a decision" , and yet we had already made it. It went on and on and yet I was softening and Jazzy baby was not. And I for one did not want another babes if husband of mine didn't. But how could we feel SO different? Well, really I just still felt confused by it all. Time went on and I began to resign to the fact that we were just done. Then the feelings started all over again. And finally I began to pray more and more about it. Wanting us to be on the same page either way. The answer came when I wasn't expecting it, months after I had begun to ask. I believe God was somehow softening and preparing both of us for the answer. 5 kids (to me) is a lot of kids. A lot of whining, a lot of disasters, but a whole life, and eternity of love.
What a gift that adult session way back when was. I loved how they talked about having children. What a BLESSING they are. What a GIIFT they are. Now I'd like to send out some major good hormone vibes to those women whom have had a hard time getting pregnant. What an enormous trial to bare. Loves to you all!!!! From the very bottom of my heart.
Anyhow...that's that. Got a babes in the belly.
p.s. tell me happy bday and that I will not gain more than 50 LBS this time. Oh, and you can tell me I look pretty too. :)