I've been thinking a lot about motherhood lately....maybe because I seem to be doing it a lot. :) About how hard it is. About how mundane it can be. About how much it teaches me. About how I don't feel like some aspects of it came naturally to me. About how true it is that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. Sometimes only a few moments a day. Sometimes the day is full of those moments. When I see them sleeping....ah, those are tender moments. :)
I've always loved this particular chapter in the Book of Mormon- 2 Nephi 2. It speaks so much to me. I'll paraphrase:
"There is a God, and he hath created all things, both the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are, both things to act and things to be acted upon....it must needs be that there was an opposition in all things...God gave unto man that he should act for himself...man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other...and men are that they might have joy...The Messiah cometh that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon."
Agency. I have always found this subject fascinating. I'm a Relief Society teacher in my ward and my next lesson is about just that. I've been pondering how "acting for myself, and NOT being acted upon" doesn't always come easily. We have been given this amazing gift- to choose for ourselves. To choose. Freely. Nobody can make decisions for us. In the end we are all responsible for our own choices. Sometimes our choices are extrememly hard, sometimes our choices are easy, like choosing between something I know is wrong, and therefore choosing the right. Then there are situations where we are forced to choose between two good things. Then, there comes the interesting one. Choosing how we will respond to someones actions, or choices when they affect us. Deciding not to be offended or hurt by someone, not letting other peoples decisions or actions affect us negatively. OR, specifically how I chose to behave towards motherhood. This is something I've been trying to work on. Changing my attitude. Not letting the housework, the snotty noses, the whining, the repetitiveness- act for me. But acting for myself, choosing how I will think about motherhood. I think I expected that when I try changing my attitude, there would automatically come a change int he way I feel. Relishing the chance I get to wipe a snotty nose. Soon enough, no one will want me to wipe their nose. This thought doesn't make me love wiping noses, but it does make me realize what a gift it is to be able to serve these sweet spirits. Deciding to enjoy the giant forts that the kids play in for 2 seconds after it took 20 minutes to build using every available blanket, pillow and towel in the entire house. Instead of fuming, I've thought about the forts I made as a kid. They were huge. WE'd even take sheets out FRONT and hang them on the tree. It's a sweet sweet memory I have. I want my children to have those kinds of memories. Doing dishes....again. I've been feeling more grateful that I even have dishes, or better yet, that I have food to eat on those dishes. That we can feel our children, that we can help them physically grow and be strong. Have I completely succeeded in this? Not really. But I have been trying. :) Trying to act for myself and not be acted upon. Acting for myself how I will think and feel about the beautiful role of motherhood, or being a wife. Both tremendous gifts. Both roles being trodden under foot by the world.
Neal A. Maxwell said:
:“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?"
Margaret Nadauld said:
"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.
Oh, how we pray that every young woman will grow up to be all the wonderful things she is meant to be. We pray that her mother and father will show her the right way. May they understand their own great capacity for strength in the timeless virtues that some would scoff at in a modern, liberated world for women.
May mothers and fathers understand the great potential for good their daughters inherited from their heavenly home. We must nourish their gentleness, their nurturing nature, their innate spirituality and sensitivity, and their bright minds. Celebrate the fact that girls are different from boys. Be thankful for the position they have in God’s grand plan. And always remember what President Hinckley said, “Only after the earth had been formed, after the day had been separated from the night, after the waters had been divided from the land, after vegetation and animal life had been created, and after man had been placed on the earth, was woman created; and only then was the work pronounced complete and good.”
I forget this. I get carried away with how I might fit into the world, instead of how I might do what I've been sent to this earth to do.
I will try, and I will fail. I will try harder, and fall short again. But along the way, I will become a better mom (hopefully). This is where the atonement of Jesus Christ comes into play. I simply have to do my best. Not perfection. And He will take care of the rest. I do NOT have to be good at everything. I do not have to know how to can raw chicken, make curtains, ice sculptures and freezer jam. I just have to be the best me I can be. I think sometimes this includes being kind to myself. This is one of my favorites in this same chapter:
8."Wherefore, how great the importance to make these things known unto the inhabitants of all the earth, that they may know that there is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God., save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah, who layeth down his life according to the flesh, and taketh it again by the power of the Spirit, that he may bring to pass the resurrection of the dead, being the first that should rise. "
What do YOU think???
Posts
