Wisdom from a Father...mine.

I recently felt impressed to read through the letters I received on my mission...oh say, 12 years ago. Hard to believe. I flipped open my ginormous binder of letters and was drawn to the ones from my Dad. I had only read 2 or so when I came across this one that I really loved. It was meant for me. But it was meant for me now, much more than 12 years ago. Here's a paragraph from it...

June 26, 1998

"Jen, I was looking at the family photo the other day realizing it was taken less than a year ago. When it was taken, I knew it could be one of the last times we would all be together for a while, but I didn't know then that by now we would be scattered in three states and one foreign country. I saw some little girls running around in the Eugene airport and I felt a wave of nostalgia and a sense of great distance from when we had a bunch of little girls and a little boy. It seemed complicated then. Going out to a movie and arranging for a baby-sitter and worrying while we were gone seemed logistically challenging then. But now I realize there was also a kind of simplicity in having everyone in one car or one house or one row in church at a time. I could scan in a moment the whole scene and satisfy myself that everyone was all right. The problems, if any, were apparent. When someone hurt, they'd cry and there weren't many hurts that couldn't be fixed in ten minutes. In church, a drawing of a rabbit or a girl in a frilly dress would generally take care of restlessness if a couple of jelly beans from a suit coat pocket didn't work. Now, the assessments are difficult. I can't know for sure who's hurting when. And if they're hurting, I can't tickle them out of it. The funny thing is, I remember on more than one occasions, thinking--even knowing-- that I would some day look back on those times as wonderful, but even then I was unable to fully appreciate that chapter of life. And more than anything, I don't think I realized this time would never repeat itself again. It was one shot to make the memories as good as possible. I hope I did a reasonably good job at that. "

He did. I can't tell you how powerfully that paragraph hit me. It's like he knew I'd need these exact words 12 years down the road. Thanks Dad. Love you.

Serenity

I don't have many moments of serenity. I often try to find things to cut out of my life that just bog me down. But then my usual conclusion is to cut out my crappy t.v. shows. And lets face it, I'm not that disciplined. Life is so interesting. Full of choices and responsibility, and consequences, and money issues, and wiping dirty faces, and butts, and moping, dishes, laundry, driving all over creation for your kids....I could go on and on. Anyhow, what's my purpose. I don't know. But I do know that we are in Bear Lake for a family reunion. I'm sitting on a deck with a cool breeze, a glass of water, Tae by my side and the rest of the kids running wild. I love it. I love this moment. I may not love many moments later today. But I do love this one. So...I wanted to document this before I forget.

6:30

So, remember how I said my goal was to wake up at 6:30? Well, I fasted about it last month, just for some extra help. So, as soon as I did that....Chase started waking up every day at 6:30. Seriously. It's crazy. But it's exactly what I needed to get up and actually do it.

Tae is growing up so fast. Especially lately. I just a love her! Yesterday when she woke up I asked if she'd just gotten up. She said "ya, just barely. I woke up cuz I was soooo sick (in her whiney sickly voice)...sick of sleeping!" She thought she was pretty funny. I laughed so hard. I still can't figure out if she gets that she was telling a joke or not. :)
A few from this month...
Her bestie friend EVER, Paige. They seem to think they're sisters. It's really quite tender.

Chasers

Little Chase is growing up so fast. Someone stop time please! He's walking, climbing on EVERYTHING, saying mom, dad, dog, shoes...it's so tender. He's just the sweetest little thing. Lights up my life. He does. When I lay him down for naps or bedtime he makes kissing noises and blows kisses then entire way to his room, and until I shut the door. Almost makes me want to back in and just blow kisses back. A few from this week...

My favorite....

Tae completely adores him. She goes in and gets him up from bed when he wakes up. Waits for him everywhere she goes and entertains him. I feel so blessed to have them. All 5. :)