- My upstairs carpet is disgusting...seriously, come and see. Why does everything have to cost money?
- Why don't I take "official" pics of my own kids? My goal: next week I WILL! But I despise figuring out what they should wear!! ugggg
- Why is it SO hard for me to read my scriptures? What is my problem? I make time for the freaking "Bachelorette" but I can't read the scrips? What up Jen Ben?
- I need so much more patience!
- I wish one of my anonymous commentors so long ago who turned off her heat would email me.....still.
- Gas prices bite so hard!
- I'm going to start making hair bows instead of spending millions of dollars on crap ones that we just lose. A little hot glue shouldn't kill me.
- Why is it so hard not to compare myself to everyone and their mother? I try so hard not too, and frankly- it's depressing.
- Feeling so blessed to live in this country- really blessed.
- I wish I loved to play with my kids, I get bored after oh say, 4 minutes, 30 seconds. Working on that one I am.
- My baby is not a baby. I am sad.
- My oldest is not a little girl. I am sad again.
- Loving this stage of life! It's so much less stressful without a small baby- even though I miss it.
- When I go to the gym I swear like 50% of the women there have fake boobs...am imagining this? Or just jealous?
- It's amazing how much emphasis we put on being "skinny" Just look at the poll on the right, number one wish- skinnier. Kinda sad yeah? How can we get past that? How can we not pass that on to our girls? At this point I feel I have made peace my body. It's ok that I'll never look like I used to, I have 4 kids to show for it!
- Should I make my blog private again? Maybe I'm paranoid.
- Is T getting away with too much? Am I too nice to him? hmmmm....
- Do I ignore J because it's so easy to do? He NEVER demands attention and rarely needs discipline. Have to work on that one too. He is my heart of gold. He is amazing.
- Can I be released from the primary before I have to write the program AGAIN? :)
- I really to do better at planning meals- I wait until like 4:30 to figure out what to make for dinner, and yet, I love to cook. I'm becoming a mismanager of time. Yes, Jana I am aware that is probably not a word.
- I need more WHITE SPACE on my calendar.
- Had SO much fun last week camping and spending time with fam. SO enjoyable.
- My husband is SO NICE TO ME! I love you babe!
- I feel so blessed to have happy, healthy children
In love with this image:
These two hang out with eachother all day and rarely argue, they are best friends, it's so tender to watch them. They were hiding in their fort watching our video camera. Note the white on T's face, that's called Whiteout. It took 3 days to come off. :)
Taken with an 85mm lens. Bumped the ISO up to 2500 and shot at 30 f1.8
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36 comments:
HI, Love this post. We have a lot of the same feelings. I want new carpet, but right now that is only a dream. My kids don't get the portraits I do for clients! WHY! Scripture study should be easier! I love the scriptures and every time I open them, there is peace waiting for me. But there are days that I don't open them. UGG is right.
I m so sorry you compare yourself to others. But I think you are coming out on top if you do. I read a book that I didn't really like, {language was not good} but one line hit me in it. It was about a autistic boy and life from his perspective. Very interesting. Anyway ... This comment is too long ... his view on comparing oneself with another really helped me to a healthier attitude. The name of the book is something like: An incident with a dog late at night. I will research this and let you know.
Thanks for the post and commenting on my blog. M
THANK YOU for this post!!!! It is great to see that someone who I think has it sooo "together" Sometimes struggles too! On my walk this morning I was thinking of doing a "rant" post... Thanks for letting me know it is NOT just me!
I could have written the EXACT same post (changing the names, of course & taking out the part of the gym, because I DO NOT have enough discipline to go to the gym, unlike you) It's wonderful to know I'm not alone in these thoughts!
Jen, to make the primary program easier, you could do what our primary does. We assign each class a monthly theme and scripture, and then the teachers help the (little) kids come up with a picture and something to say. (i.e., "I can be a missionary by . . .") The older ones write a talk or bear their testimonies on the subject. The teachers practice with the younger ones in class. The program is so much more personal and there is a lot less pressure on the presidency to get it done exactly right. I'm the music leader, and this is how we've planned it the last three years, and it's such a spiritual sacrament meeting.
I think you're a wonderful mom and person. I really enjoyed getting to know the whole family a lot more last week. Don't let the negative thoughts get you down.
I have a really hard time playing with my girls too. For some reason I always want to be doing something else, even though I love watching their faces and reactions when we do play. And it's not like I have really important stuff to do anyway, it's just hard for me to play kid games. That makes me sad because I know i will miss it later and regret it if I don't take the time.
Love you Jen. Primary program: i think our leaders ask all the kids questions about the topic and then the kids read the answers that THEY came up with. So, you don't have to write it, you just have the kids tell what they think and it's often quite profound and deffinately amusing.
I hereby release you from Primary:) I'm also releasing myself from the Activities committee;) You are an amazing friend and mom. You are the mom I wish I could be like. I even told my sister this weekend how much I love you and wish I could be just a little like you. You are so unselfish.
I've also noticed the amount of b-jobs lately. I counted about 10 at Macey's the other day while I was shopping. What happened to loving the gift of a beautitul body God gave us.
I do love you tons and I am so thankful that you moved here a few years ago. You and your sweet Jaren have been such a blessing to my family. Thank you!!!
Carpet...Gas...playing with Polly (so hard)...fake boobs (something I will never do because I could care less & find plenty of other things to spend $3000 on - not that I am against it for any other reason than I am cheap)...planning meals on time & being blessed....big fat DITTO, I just can't organize my thoughts well like you can! :)
Lol, we're exactly the same in so many ways. SO funny that you feel like you might ignore Jaren, I'm exactly the same with Jessica! She just goes along being good and quiet, never asks questions or asks to do stuff, she's just so conent. And I'm always feeling like I MISS her because I don't get around to spending time with her! Feeling pretty sad that she'll be in school ALL DAY starting next month!
I gave up trying to play with my kids on their terms. So boring, it would make me so sleepy! Now I play with them on mine, playing board games, sometimes doing puzzles, cooking with them, stuff like that. Even cleaning, they think it's so fun to clean a bathroom!
I don't think you're too nice to tanner. He's just being a kid. It's great that you're able to put up with all of his energy.
I can't WAIT till my baby is 2!
Its "turned the heat off" here. Maybe one day I will email you. But not today. I love you dearly and am so touched you still think of me. When we talk, I do not have the courage to say, "BTW, it was me that posted about turning off the heat on your trials post." Things are better. Mostly in my heart and not in my wallet. Darn. ( I am not going to be getting any new carpet either,) but I have so much to be thankful for! And it is warm now so the heat is not a issue. Happy Day! You are the best. I compare myself to you and come up on the low end!
Great Post!
This may come out wrong, but I too feel a tiny bit better that someone like you (who I don't ACTUALLY know, but my perspective of you is that you are SOOOO together and have such a perfect little family) worries about the same type of things that I do. I think most of us can just say DITTO like the commenter above. I too often feel guilty for not wanting to "play" with my kids as much, but I've thought about it a lot lately and realized that the 5 or 10 minutes that I try to do each day really does mean something to them. The cool thing about kids is its not the "Quantity" they remember - but rather the "quality" - so if your 4 mins and 30 seconds are really fun for them, that's all they'll remember. It's hard and I don't always do well with it, but I also try and just do something little with each individual kid each day as well - something little that only takes a few minutes. Whether its tucking a certain one in and giving her the backrub she has been begging for, or playing a board game, or listening to my boy tell me about each one of his action figures for the 100th time, I think that these "small individual" moments mean a lot to them too - and it's not really too hard to find 5 minutes at a time. Cuase I too feel like i ignore certain kids on any given day cause they are just too content and good. And it breaks my heart when I think that they could feel "overlooked". Anyways, just know that all of us think you're awesome!! And i was wondering if professional photographers took pics of their own kids - cause in my own "amateur" experience, my kids aren't good for me like they are for others when cameras are concerned. I LOVE that you told us how you took that picture though. I really need to learn my camera settings and how to play around with them more. Cause I still think you're the bestest photog!!!
I agree and I agree and I agree and I agree - seriously, were you reading my mind? Let's go get dessert it'll make us feel better.
Love ya
P.S. the book above is called "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time", I've got it linked on my blog. Good book.
Just last night as Spence was walking up the stairs he commented on our carpet and how it is getting so bad. It's at the top of our wish list and will probably be the last thing that gets done. I hate filling up my gas tank also and going to the grocery store. I wish my wallet had an endless supply of cash since everything is so expensive now!
As for spending time with kids- lately I've been spending time with mine in the backyard. I've let the housework go a little bit. I try to just have a picnic lunch together on the grass and read a book to them while they're eating. It's only 10 minutes- but it's together time and they love it. I even found some stupid little school lunch trays at DI the other day to serve up the lunch. They think it is so fun.
Yesterday while the kids were jumping in the swimming pool I was out working on my tan. It was so stinking hot. I looked at the fun they were having and surprised all of them when I said "Okay! My turn!" And ran and jumped in the pool. They were teaching me all kinds of tricks to try and do. Claire said I was a kid again. What a great comment! Anyhow, like another comment said- it's the quality not the quantity.
Oh- and I'm going to start making Claire's hairclips too. Maybe if she helps make them she'll actually wear them.
Love the post!!
I could agree w/ a lot... Most actually...scriptures, patience, gas $, feeling blessed, baby not being a baby, oldest growing up too fast, fake boobs, going private & planning meals.
- Um - but I think the carpet in my boys' room would put your sorry carpet to shame!
Oh...I love you! I could tell you were a little preoccupied yesterday. You were just more quiet and serious. I officially "un-release" you from Primary (sorry Kim). I NEED you! As for the rest of the comments, I'll have to call you and tell you about my discussion with Greg tonight. I am completely frustrated!
I LOVE Tanner's face. It was the first thing I noticed, and I laughed so hard because all you can do is just love him to pieces. The picture is fabulous! You really are an incredible photographer, and I love viewing all your pictures. You are such an amazing talent, and how blessed am I that you live around the corner!
Hmmm... Its all very interesting Jen. Here comes the Man's opinions.
1. Carpet Sucks. Replace with Hard woods and Tile, It will cost the same as new carpet and you'll never have to replace it. Buy area rugs and install radiant heating in the floors as you install the tile or Wood. Have J and some man friends do it and save a bundle on installation.
2. Just take the pics. Who cares what their wearing, make them put on a fashion show for you and get all their outfits, call it an FHE activity
3. Do it
4. Can't help you there, but if you can take pics of your kids dancing around in their messes they make all over your house, looks like your patience is top notch
5. Huh?
6. Prius - its pretty cramped but the mileage rules.
7. Totally easy my wife does it, I'm sure you can do it too. Just don't use Hot glue on the scout uniforms too!
8. Your great! make everyone tell you so.
9. My bro. is in Afghanistan currently. What a blessing for me to see His sacrifice and make it even more real to me.
10. Make hair bows with them. Teach them something you enjoy
11 skip, 12 skip, 13 skip,
14. Not gonna go there - skip
15. Your skinny what are you talking about?
16. Read this Elder Ballard Urges Participation in Internet Conversations, also same talk is in July Ensign.
17 skip, 18 Skip,
19. There are millions(or maybe a few) Primary program ideas on the internet
20. We plan out a menu during FHE for 2 weeks at a time and put it on the fridge, then shop accordingly. And when I make something freezable, I make double, eat one freeze the other. Its so much easier when you have a plan to actually follow it.
Good Luck! I'm sure it will all work out for you!
Dear Jenny Foo Foo,
You are all those things you think you are not and more. And you are not many of the things you think you are. We may find it amazing but most of us at our age are going through the same things. And believe me when I say, that those who judge just have one more thing to get over in this life.
You rock, sweetie!!
You inspired me to read my scriptures tonight! I admit I've been slacking in that area, too. Tonight I was bored (when does that EVER happen) and I was about to turn on the tv and turn off my brain when I thought, why don't I read my scriptures? The very first verse I read addressed a problem I've been having and answered a question I didn't even know I had! It was such an amazing experience! I seriously recommend reading your scriptures tonight, because it may help you address all these issues you listed (or maybe even just one of them)!
K, so I haven't forgotten about that comment from the sweet mom who slept with her kids to keep them warm at night. I wish so badly that I could've helped with that situation. It still haunts me.
Amen, sista. I think Utah is the #1 fake-boob capital of the world. It's the same at my gym.
Probably because we like to procreate around here...or people are just incredibly vain. Probably both. Actually, I really think "to each their own" with the boobs. I just hate it that those who pump them up usually flaunt them in everyone's face. Lame. I am thinking also that once I actually lose the baby chub (and that will be...when?), I am going to be in sad post-nursing shape, boob-wise. Darn. But you, lovie, are looking terrific. Seriously.
Carpet: we've lived in our house five years and have yet to clean it. That is sick and wrong.
Kids: Why do I think I could EVER homeschool? I love them. They drive me batty sometimes. "Go out in the yard and stay there" is a favorite phrase around here.
Scrips: I blog, I blog, I blog. I commit minutes to my scriptures. Lame-ola. Gotta work on that one.
jen...i always love your perspective on things.I will NEVER forget something you told me once. You said: "Why would I ever get a boob job if I can have that perfected for itself when I'm resurrected!" ..or something along those lines. I think we often times(especially as women) look at Hollywood to determine what and who we should be like. If I really think about who I look up to most I can't hardly even think about what the breast size is..I mean Sis. Hinckley cmon!:) I definitely have to do better with scriptures too..when I do read them its like a breath of fresh air!
Ahhh Jen, I love you. You are great, don't ever forget it. So glad I'm not the only one, everyone has days like this or even weeks or months! Who cares what the world thinks, or looks like. Sometimes I feel like wearing a shirt that says, "Yeah...So." You're great at just about everything you do, relish in it and remember you are a child of God, always precious and always loved. After that, what else matters?
I'm thinking....that I'm very jealous of you, Ms. 22 comments. Sheesh. You are so freakin' popular!
I love that picture of the boys, and I think it's hilarious that you posted how you captured it. But I'm sure it's because everyone asks you questions. :)
Love ya, Jen!
I love your thoughts, you are quiet the thinker!
All I can say is I love you, Jen. I wish you felt as wonderful as everyone thinks and knows you are. Half us wish we were more like you...more Christlike. Don't we all have our issue we're working on? When I sit and think of all the blessings I have and the things I AM doing right, I have to pray for forgiveness for thinking I can or need to be perfect and for forgetting all the wonderful things in my life, including what I am doing well. All He expects is our best, not perfection. Even if we're not giving everything our very best, that's ok...if we were there already what would our purpose in life be? Hugs and loves to you.
Forgot to tell you that I am one of those shallow people who would love to have a boob job! :-) Spence says he loves me the way I am- but he's never tried to talk me out of wanting one. LOL
don't worry Jackie, I can totally see why people get them. I wouldn't mind one myself. The comment from Audra was actually what my husband said, not me. :) Go figure. hahaha
Amen to wanting to be released from primary, and other things but I already forgot. Lately I've been wondering if Emma is spoiled. Also I wish I could have more of your chocolate strawberries, and I wish you would have just listened to me about using oil instead of butter.
P.S. I'm sorry you always compare yourself to me. I don't mean to be so cool. Also, the first commenter said something about an awesome book...it's called The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. It's really good but yes it does have the F word multiple times.
Okay... I can't believe I read this blog! I was just talking to Scott last week about how freaking wonderful you are! I am feeling so depressed that I couldn't DO all the "things" that you DO. How do you have a business, keep up this awesome blog, keep in touch with about a billion friends, be stylish, have the spirituality of a giant (cheesy, I know), be a terrific mom and still have a beautiful home and absolutely GORGEOUS family?
I never look at boobs? Am I weird? I have never compared my boobs to anyone. Why?
I too am writing the primary program. I finally told myself to sit down and write the darn thing. It was amazing how much the manual that has all the sharing times in it helped. I also really try to listen to the kids talks and if I like it, ask the parents to keep it so they can say it in the program. This year, I think the theme is very profound. I am simply using simple truths about what it means to be a child of God. I am also trying to let the music bring the spirit as much as possible. Does this help? I know it is a pain. Just think though. The kids are cute :)
Thanks for all the nice words! Love you guys!!
Jen, I have meant to ask you for years. What camera do you use and what did you start out using? And what is a good camera for progressing without having to buy a brand new one everytime you get better or more experienced at taking photographs? SO, I guess I want to pick your brain regarding equipment. If you have a minute email me at djhoneyball@gmail.com!!
Oh, and I love the white out. Drew did that at 2 yrs old and it was there until he was 3, I swear it!
PS I loved the Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night. It has a TON of f-words, so beware. This usually offends the heck out of me, but it's written by a British author, and the f-word isn't their "mother of all swear words" like it is here. I have a friend from England who told me words we say here that we don't hardly think twice about (like p.o.-ed) are worse than that word in England. Anyway, it helped me get through it. IT's a very interesting perspective.
You really are such an amazing photographer. You don't know how you made my day when you commented and said you loved the airplane picture on the BOM blog. Thanks!
In response/along the same lines:
1.CARPET-Next time just buy darker carpet so the dirt won’t show up so much. :)And about everything costing money, even checking out stuff from the library costs! We pay for that with our taxes. More things should be free!
2. WHAT TO HAVE THE KIDS WEAR-no fun picking out outfits……Remember I wanted to wear your sweater that day we had my family pictures taken?
3. AMEN about the scriptures…..and I LOVE to read. I guess anything but that. I need to get my priorities straight.
4.PATIENCE- Me too at least where my children are concerned
5. TURNED OFF HER HEAT -Yes! we would all love to help
6.GAS PRICES -Seriously. I remember 10 years ago when I could fill up my little Honda Accord for like $10.
7.HAIR BOWS - I have resorted to buying a spool o’ ribbon for each and every outfit. Then if a ribbon gets lost I usually have more on the spool. :)
8.COMPARING- WHY??? YOU are the BEST!!
9.BLESSED TO LIVE IN THIS COUNTRY-Tremendously blessed!
10.PLAY WITH MY KIDS-Yes. My little pony, carebears, strawberry shortcake and cabbage patch kids just aren’t what they used to be.
11. BABY NOT A BABY-I too am sad. Owen will be one on Thursday!
12. They grow up WAY TOO FAST!
13.LOVING THIS STAGE OF LIFE-YAY for you! Things are much better around here that they were a year ago…… mostly loving it
14. FAKE BOOBS-I’m laughing so hard. I just have never understood this one…why someone would WANT boobs? They make you have bad posture…:)
15. "SKINNY" - It is sad. And I want to raise confident girls too. How DO we not pass it on?
16.PRIVATE BLOG -I say “yes” on private blogs… for so many reasons
17.RELEASED FROM THE PRIMARY- I lucked out and got released from the YW presidency less than a month before trek…..maybe that will happen for you!
18.PLANNING MEALS-Planning meals would also help our family. Chick–Fil-A is getting too much business from me.
WHITEOUT- That is hilarious. Classic. Cannot believe it.
Hair bows. . . easy, real easy. . . who do you compare yourself to and why? You are a great mother!. . . I think 60% of woman at the gym have fakies. . . I did a survey, skinny. . hmm, I figure I look back at my old pictures and say "I wish I had that body back." So, I imagine when I am 10 years older I am going to want the body I have now back. . so I am going to enjoy the body that I have now so I don't regret not enjoying it in 10 years from now. And lastly about the skinny thing. . . so much rather have a few chubs than cancer lets say or a missing limb or diabetes or MS or being blind or deaf. Come on people?!?! The worst we have it is a little bit of cottage when a lot of people wish they just had a leg or a cure to cancer. Things could be so much worse than some extra cushion. Just some thoughts and love love love the pics. So, this is what I do with my spare time w/o Spencer. . comment on your blog. I am off to clean! Thanks for watching him today!
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