I just left Chasey's room. He refuses to sleep in his crib anymore, so he's been napping in Jaren's bed. He loves me to sit by him and rub his back or hair, or hold his hand. As I sat on the floor by his bed, I made an effort to notice what i was actually feeling...his tiny soft body slowly moving up and down with his breath. My hand on his chest, one of his hands on mine, the other playing with his own hair. His tiny heart beating rapidly under my hand. It was a sacred small moment, I felt the spirit wash over me with a deeper love for this small boy entrusted to our care. I wanted to embed that moment in my mind forever. Soon his skin won't be so soft, he won't want me to sit by him with my hand on his chest, or play with his hair. But hopefully he will because that just makes me cry.
A few of my Chasers last month...isn't he so cute?

Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Choch-a-roon
Posted by
Jen-ben
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6 comments:
Wow.
So sweet.
He's adorable. And so big.
I wish I was as eloquent about moments like that as you are. :)
I love that you did that. :)
he's got a different look to him than all the others...and i can't believe he's so big
I'm so glad he finally remembered me and we were friends!
Oh Jen, this one made me chokey. Feeling that breath is such a blessing. After James died, I would go in to my kids rooms (and still do from time to time and in fact just did last Wednesday) and just lay my hand on them to feel that breathing motion. . . because that means they are alive. . . it means you have another day with them. It means so much. So often we go from day to day doing our tasks or what is required of us surpassing the actuality of the circumstance....which is just that...those sacred moments of gratitude of parenthood. It's easy to forget or get caught up in life and fail to recognize those small moments for what they are-priceless....never to be gotten back. AH.
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